Dearest ML,
I saw your FB. Hope you had great fun with your Boston roadtrip :-)
During the Labor Day weekend, M and I watched two films: The Dark Knight Rises and a Danish Film In a Better World. I love film watching: films immerse me into a completely different world away from reality and can provoke thoughts sometimes.
While watching the Batman, at some point, I cannot help and think about the Aurora shooting incident. When exactly did it happen? What would I do if I were in the incident? Will I survive? What a horrifying experience it is to turn an exciting film watching experience (and Batman! I read somewhere the premiere in New York was sold out 6 months in advance) and ended up like this.
I like Batman trilogy. I think the director has successfully added many layers to the Batman character. Remember the old days of Michael Keaton and even George Clooney? Or even in far ancient days when there was the hysterical TV show with Batman and Robin and "BANG BANG" occupying the whole TV screen? The current trilogy is very different from the previous work. It is undoubtedly still a very Hollywood Blockbuster, but very well made. Normally I am not a big fan of this sort of film but I have to admit, the film watching experience was entertaining.
Honestly I wish there were a little bit more on Catwoman. Anne Hathaway has done a very good job in playing the role.
The other Danish film In a Better World is completely different. It is the winner of 2010 Oscar Best Foreign Film, and very real (whereas Batman is extremely surreal). The film covered a lot of topics: cancer, death, different forms of bullying, marriage, family dynamics, to name just a few. On hindsight I wish it could have focused more on a few topics only with more in-depth coverage. But good films are hard to find. This is definitely above average.
All in all, I am happy to have M to share these film watching experience together. I remember I had an ex, every time when I proposed a film to watch by then (and even now) I would need to exercise my careful consideration. M is the complete opposite as we are both film lovers and surprisingly share pretty common taste and preference on foreign language films (well he loves sci-fi horrors like 28 Days Later but I am not). But we have to admit, the "date" for film watching is also very important!
k xoxo
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Blogger
Dearest ML,
It's been a while. By pure coincidence (well everything to me is "by pure coincidence" anyway), I came across this blog People Do Things With Their Lives and how the viewers are raving about it. I was amused. Absolutely amused & astonished. Maybe my bar is higher I do not feel like that.
I do agree with one of her points she wrote "there is no news" but yet it does not make her blog great. Then I cannot help and wonder if somebody regarded her blog as "great" and "good read enough to follow after checking other bloggers", then what about my blog? My thoughts? Are they just too quirky or others will find it entertaining / meaningful to read?
We write to inspire (inspired by E L James "we aim to please", said Ana to Christian or vice versa). So guess what? I will continue to write my random thoughts.
FYI the bloggers I consider awesome is Tom Basson (despite I do not like his religious stuff but scroll down to "what makes you come alive". I believe everyone should keep their own list), and Seth Godin
These are really cool blogs.
k xoxo
It's been a while. By pure coincidence (well everything to me is "by pure coincidence" anyway), I came across this blog People Do Things With Their Lives and how the viewers are raving about it. I was amused. Absolutely amused & astonished. Maybe my bar is higher I do not feel like that.
I do agree with one of her points she wrote "there is no news" but yet it does not make her blog great. Then I cannot help and wonder if somebody regarded her blog as "great" and "good read enough to follow after checking other bloggers", then what about my blog? My thoughts? Are they just too quirky or others will find it entertaining / meaningful to read?
We write to inspire (inspired by E L James "we aim to please", said Ana to Christian or vice versa). So guess what? I will continue to write my random thoughts.
FYI the bloggers I consider awesome is Tom Basson (despite I do not like his religious stuff but scroll down to "what makes you come alive". I believe everyone should keep their own list), and Seth Godin
These are really cool blogs.
k xoxo
Monday, August 6, 2012
Hard Time Generation from 60 minutes
Dearest ML,
I have decided to write one more post before signing off. Last night I watched the 60 minutes. The segment on "Hard Time Generation" is just so touching.
It is hard to imagine some kids are having such a difficult times, yet they never give up.
It is hard to imagine why it is so difficult to find a job in the States.
It is hard to imagine what if there is only one orange left in the cooler but nothing more, and yet you call the shelter house and they are all full.
I have been extremely lucky. I think my friends are also lucky too. One is currently traveling around the world with her fiance. We are really blessed. Story like this always remind myself to be humble and not to forget those who are currently misfortunate and experiencing a rough time.
Strive for the best, and offer what we may do in return to help others.
k xoxo
I have decided to write one more post before signing off. Last night I watched the 60 minutes. The segment on "Hard Time Generation" is just so touching.
It is hard to imagine some kids are having such a difficult times, yet they never give up.
It is hard to imagine why it is so difficult to find a job in the States.
It is hard to imagine what if there is only one orange left in the cooler but nothing more, and yet you call the shelter house and they are all full.
I have been extremely lucky. I think my friends are also lucky too. One is currently traveling around the world with her fiance. We are really blessed. Story like this always remind myself to be humble and not to forget those who are currently misfortunate and experiencing a rough time.
Strive for the best, and offer what we may do in return to help others.
k xoxo
Back to School Again
Dearest ML,
I saw your Facebook. You are such a vibrant soul :) I remember when I was at your age I was like that too - endless parties, activities to keep my schedule completely full (hey I was living in Hong Kong!) but now I feel different. How to put it, I know I am getting old when M and I were driving pass Hollywood last Saturday night around 11 pm, seeing all these party crowds with bumper to bumper traffic. My only thought was "I wanna go back home and rest".
And yes I have decided to go back school again after... er... 6 years (OMG). This time it is via Coursera, a fantastic free online platform where literally you can sign up anything you like for free. So far it is still free I do not know about its future. It is a great resource to go back to school again to sharpen my mind, to interact with different think-alike individuals, and most importantly to sign up anything I feel interested in without feeling obliged on doing anything. So this time I signed up Gamification, Introduction to Operation Management and Sociology etc 5 courses in total.
Yeah I am getting really excited. And yes it is feel like back to school again, I need my brand new stationery - notebook and pens :P
Everytime I do a course I feel like it is not only the (online) lecture, but it is also about the reading. So yes here I come, I am prepared. I feel alive again.
k xoxo
I saw your Facebook. You are such a vibrant soul :) I remember when I was at your age I was like that too - endless parties, activities to keep my schedule completely full (hey I was living in Hong Kong!) but now I feel different. How to put it, I know I am getting old when M and I were driving pass Hollywood last Saturday night around 11 pm, seeing all these party crowds with bumper to bumper traffic. My only thought was "I wanna go back home and rest".
And yes I have decided to go back school again after... er... 6 years (OMG). This time it is via Coursera, a fantastic free online platform where literally you can sign up anything you like for free. So far it is still free I do not know about its future. It is a great resource to go back to school again to sharpen my mind, to interact with different think-alike individuals, and most importantly to sign up anything I feel interested in without feeling obliged on doing anything. So this time I signed up Gamification, Introduction to Operation Management and Sociology etc 5 courses in total.
Yeah I am getting really excited. And yes it is feel like back to school again, I need my brand new stationery - notebook and pens :P
Everytime I do a course I feel like it is not only the (online) lecture, but it is also about the reading. So yes here I come, I am prepared. I feel alive again.
k xoxo
Friday, July 20, 2012
The Story of Mr Frog
Dearest E,
This is what I read from one of my favorite columnist "Ask Amy" from "Rejected in Chicago" today:
"Dear Amy: I am a 26 year old woman who has kissed many frogs, and by "many" I mean that every single guy I have been with is a frog.
I've been seeing a guy who I thought was the answer to my prayers. He said all the right things.
We became intimate on our third date, now I have heard nothing from him.
He texted me after he got home from our third date, but nothing after that/ I have tried contacting him twice (via text) since then, to no avail. It's been a few days since that third date. and I am asking your advice as to how I should move forward.
Should I keep trying to contact him, or just to move on?
Rejected in Chicago"
Why I am posting this? Because I saw myself in this story. I won't call the guys I was seeing as "frogs" (nor I do not understand why she did it) but what she encountered is definitely not something new, and I am sure it will happen to other girls too.
Let's hear what Amy said:
"Dear Rejected:
By "being intimate" I assume that you and Mr Frog had sex.
Being sexual with someone is not the route to intimacy that you seem to think it is. However it is the path most often taken by frogs.
If you had extended your conversation with this guy on that fateful third date, instead of having sex with him, you would have learned more about him and become more intimate. And you wouldn't be so reactive, needy and confused now.
If you are satisfied with occasional hookup, then keep doing what you're doing. But you are unhappy with your choices.
Rather than brand every man you date a frog, the most logical remedy is for you to change everything about your own behavior in this area of your life.
When you do that, you will draw a different kind of person toward you."
For me, Amy is kinda vague about her answer. But certainly some points are definitely true:
1. Some frogs tend to use sex to build intimacy, which leads girls to think or believe like that too.
2. However most of the times, we girls would like to have something more than sex. And that's the challenging part - striking a good balance of intimacy and when exactly to have sex.
3. I agree with Amy, it actually depends on what YOU want.
4. If a frog is focused on sex only, he will move on to another target if there is no sex happening.
5. If he sees building up intimacy more than sex, and sees you as a good candidate to build it up, he will invest time into this.
Nobody can tell exactly when to have sex or the intimacy level. It all depends on how you feel about yourself, how well you know about him, the communication between you two, what you would like to have from the relationship etc.
As for me, at age 26?? It is typical to go through what "rejected" is going through. It is the age of evolving. Nobody is born to be smart. It is all learn by experience.
Rejection hurts, nobody likes that. But like I said many times before, it is an inevitable part of dating / relationship.
Believe me, a lot of frogs at age 26 (or around that age) do tend to think sex comes first than anything else (or replace "work" with the word "sex"). Some guys evolve, and some do not. It is important to keep adjusting your own expectation too.
And what Amy said is so true - it also depends on where you are looking for frogs. Say for example assume you meet someone in clubbing / social parties, how would you expect him to build up intimacy via talking / texting?
Which is why always remember: whatever happens, yourself comes first. Love yourself more. When you have that belief built up, you will begin to have self-confidence in yourself, and tend to get less hurt by what happens.
k xoxo
This is what I read from one of my favorite columnist "Ask Amy" from "Rejected in Chicago" today:
"Dear Amy: I am a 26 year old woman who has kissed many frogs, and by "many" I mean that every single guy I have been with is a frog.
I've been seeing a guy who I thought was the answer to my prayers. He said all the right things.
We became intimate on our third date, now I have heard nothing from him.
He texted me after he got home from our third date, but nothing after that/ I have tried contacting him twice (via text) since then, to no avail. It's been a few days since that third date. and I am asking your advice as to how I should move forward.
Should I keep trying to contact him, or just to move on?
Rejected in Chicago"
Why I am posting this? Because I saw myself in this story. I won't call the guys I was seeing as "frogs" (nor I do not understand why she did it) but what she encountered is definitely not something new, and I am sure it will happen to other girls too.
Let's hear what Amy said:
"Dear Rejected:
By "being intimate" I assume that you and Mr Frog had sex.
Being sexual with someone is not the route to intimacy that you seem to think it is. However it is the path most often taken by frogs.
If you had extended your conversation with this guy on that fateful third date, instead of having sex with him, you would have learned more about him and become more intimate. And you wouldn't be so reactive, needy and confused now.
If you are satisfied with occasional hookup, then keep doing what you're doing. But you are unhappy with your choices.
Rather than brand every man you date a frog, the most logical remedy is for you to change everything about your own behavior in this area of your life.
When you do that, you will draw a different kind of person toward you."
For me, Amy is kinda vague about her answer. But certainly some points are definitely true:
1. Some frogs tend to use sex to build intimacy, which leads girls to think or believe like that too.
2. However most of the times, we girls would like to have something more than sex. And that's the challenging part - striking a good balance of intimacy and when exactly to have sex.
3. I agree with Amy, it actually depends on what YOU want.
4. If a frog is focused on sex only, he will move on to another target if there is no sex happening.
5. If he sees building up intimacy more than sex, and sees you as a good candidate to build it up, he will invest time into this.
Nobody can tell exactly when to have sex or the intimacy level. It all depends on how you feel about yourself, how well you know about him, the communication between you two, what you would like to have from the relationship etc.
As for me, at age 26?? It is typical to go through what "rejected" is going through. It is the age of evolving. Nobody is born to be smart. It is all learn by experience.
Rejection hurts, nobody likes that. But like I said many times before, it is an inevitable part of dating / relationship.
Believe me, a lot of frogs at age 26 (or around that age) do tend to think sex comes first than anything else (or replace "work" with the word "sex"). Some guys evolve, and some do not. It is important to keep adjusting your own expectation too.
And what Amy said is so true - it also depends on where you are looking for frogs. Say for example assume you meet someone in clubbing / social parties, how would you expect him to build up intimacy via talking / texting?
Which is why always remember: whatever happens, yourself comes first. Love yourself more. When you have that belief built up, you will begin to have self-confidence in yourself, and tend to get less hurt by what happens.
k xoxo
Monday, July 2, 2012
Not a peaceful breakup
Dearest E,
I am so happy you shared your story with me and sorry again to hear what happened in the restaurant where the girlfriend of your ex scolded you out of nowhere in the public.
To begin with, there are only two types of breakup in the world - peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. Peaceful breakup to me is kind of rare as it involves the mutual understanding of two parties and reach the consensus of breakup. However, peaceful breakup also does not mean the relationship can be transformed to "friendship", as again it requires the mutual effort & maturity from both parties.
We girls do tend to have a tendency to expect ex to become friends again whereas boys tend not to have this tendency. My favourite quote is "let things evolve" / "time will tell" but most importantly the core message is "not to have any expectation".
Why? When you do not have expectation, you will be less likely to feel disappointed.
When you do not have expectation, you will not be the one to take the first move and be rejected if he is not responding.
When you do not have expectations, your focus will be put on yourself instead of the counter party.
Personally I had peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. To be specific I used to be the one to dump the other party first until one day the trend got reversed. Of course it hurt, I felt devastated but I survived.
Breakup is an inevitable part in dating (unless you are the rare lucky ones who got married with your puppy lover). So in the end, we all need to learn how to deal with breakup in a smarter way.
As with the act of that girl, my only comment is do not learn from her. We all have "class", and that girl has no class. There is no need to talk to her again, and sorry to say she is not even your friend.
Feel better soon
k xoxo
I am so happy you shared your story with me and sorry again to hear what happened in the restaurant where the girlfriend of your ex scolded you out of nowhere in the public.
To begin with, there are only two types of breakup in the world - peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. Peaceful breakup to me is kind of rare as it involves the mutual understanding of two parties and reach the consensus of breakup. However, peaceful breakup also does not mean the relationship can be transformed to "friendship", as again it requires the mutual effort & maturity from both parties.
We girls do tend to have a tendency to expect ex to become friends again whereas boys tend not to have this tendency. My favourite quote is "let things evolve" / "time will tell" but most importantly the core message is "not to have any expectation".
Why? When you do not have expectation, you will be less likely to feel disappointed.
When you do not have expectation, you will not be the one to take the first move and be rejected if he is not responding.
When you do not have expectations, your focus will be put on yourself instead of the counter party.
Personally I had peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. To be specific I used to be the one to dump the other party first until one day the trend got reversed. Of course it hurt, I felt devastated but I survived.
Breakup is an inevitable part in dating (unless you are the rare lucky ones who got married with your puppy lover). So in the end, we all need to learn how to deal with breakup in a smarter way.
As with the act of that girl, my only comment is do not learn from her. We all have "class", and that girl has no class. There is no need to talk to her again, and sorry to say she is not even your friend.
Feel better soon
k xoxo
Saturday, June 23, 2012
New York City
I miss you, New York City.
One of my favorite shots taken on the Brooklyn Bridge and Manhattan skyline
One of my favorite shots taken on the Brooklyn Bridge and Manhattan skyline
Hedi Silmane Diary
Dearest ML,
I know you love photography as much as I do... check this out
Hedi Silmane Diary
He is just SO cool - powerful black and white image :)
Honestly the world is SO big and full of interesting things for us to explore
k xoxo
I know you love photography as much as I do... check this out
Hedi Silmane Diary
He is just SO cool - powerful black and white image :)
Honestly the world is SO big and full of interesting things for us to explore
k xoxo
Thursday, May 31, 2012
RIP Marina Keegan
Dearest ML,
M sent me this story, maybe you read it already on Marina Keegan who was a Yale Graduate and died from car accident last Saturday. She was 22.
I kept reading her last post she wrote in Yale Daily News, I cannot help and think how come such a talented and sensitive girl, full of ambition just gone like a wind? How ironic when she wrote "we are so young, we are so young" yet she was the one to first pass away?!
Nothing is fair in this world.
Let's make something happen in this world.
In a sleepless night like this, I cannot help and figure what exactly I can do to make a difference in the world? To influence people? To motivate my friends? To have a successful career (and then what?) I feel like I am no different from a fresh graduate. The only difference is I am not so young anymore. I had my graduation moment, and I never look back. I am someone with history, and someone who always think about where I am heading to, what destiny will bring to me.
Take one step at a time, and try my best. This is what I will do.
Seize the day. Seize the moment.
RIP Marina, I do not know you, but I feel like you were someone talented and inspirational to a lot of people.
k xoxo
M sent me this story, maybe you read it already on Marina Keegan who was a Yale Graduate and died from car accident last Saturday. She was 22.
I kept reading her last post she wrote in Yale Daily News, I cannot help and think how come such a talented and sensitive girl, full of ambition just gone like a wind? How ironic when she wrote "we are so young, we are so young" yet she was the one to first pass away?!
Nothing is fair in this world.
Let's make something happen in this world.
In a sleepless night like this, I cannot help and figure what exactly I can do to make a difference in the world? To influence people? To motivate my friends? To have a successful career (and then what?) I feel like I am no different from a fresh graduate. The only difference is I am not so young anymore. I had my graduation moment, and I never look back. I am someone with history, and someone who always think about where I am heading to, what destiny will bring to me.
Take one step at a time, and try my best. This is what I will do.
Seize the day. Seize the moment.
RIP Marina, I do not know you, but I feel like you were someone talented and inspirational to a lot of people.
k xoxo
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Caught in the cycle of poverty
Dearest ML,
If you have the time, take a look on the cover story by LA Times today and then also read the comments
Caught in the cycle of poverty
New to LA for less than 1 year, it is still hard to imagine people in the States can live like this. I think there are a few issues here:
1. Cole always mentioned about kids but I have no idea why she may consider having the 5th one given her conditions. Where is the birth control? She does not know about condom / contraceptives? As some readers may have pointed out, maybe this is her plan to gain more welfare or food stamps by having more kids. Who knows but this is alarming - it is a false alarm this time but who knows if it will be a real baby on board some time soon?
2. I am always interested in the topic of "ending poverty" (and subsequently microfinance) but in this story I think Cole has her own responsibility to bear. She missed a few times of working hard to get a job. It is a pattern.
3. Some readers suggested the role of mentor and I do think this may help provided the person is open to "constructive criticism" (believe me, not everyone is) and provided there is strong-minded person to help the impoverished like this in terms of attention, dedication and time (something more valuable than donating money)
4. All in all, the whole story keeps reminding me one thing: the person who can help yourself is yourself. For Cole, IF you are really doing the best for your children, stop having more babies, take care of your health, and settle down to get one / multiple jobs. No rocket science here. Life is not fair and sometimes someone's path is doomed to be more difficult than the others.
The story also reminds me of my dad, how he came from a poor family of 5 boys, uneducated parents who were not home to work and how he worked himself up to social ladder to become a professional and a middle class and now retired with enough money to spare. Coming from a poor family is not an excuse. Not taking care of oneself properly physically and not having a burning desire to make ends meet is.
k xoxo
If you have the time, take a look on the cover story by LA Times today and then also read the comments
Caught in the cycle of poverty
New to LA for less than 1 year, it is still hard to imagine people in the States can live like this. I think there are a few issues here:
1. Cole always mentioned about kids but I have no idea why she may consider having the 5th one given her conditions. Where is the birth control? She does not know about condom / contraceptives? As some readers may have pointed out, maybe this is her plan to gain more welfare or food stamps by having more kids. Who knows but this is alarming - it is a false alarm this time but who knows if it will be a real baby on board some time soon?
2. I am always interested in the topic of "ending poverty" (and subsequently microfinance) but in this story I think Cole has her own responsibility to bear. She missed a few times of working hard to get a job. It is a pattern.
3. Some readers suggested the role of mentor and I do think this may help provided the person is open to "constructive criticism" (believe me, not everyone is) and provided there is strong-minded person to help the impoverished like this in terms of attention, dedication and time (something more valuable than donating money)
4. All in all, the whole story keeps reminding me one thing: the person who can help yourself is yourself. For Cole, IF you are really doing the best for your children, stop having more babies, take care of your health, and settle down to get one / multiple jobs. No rocket science here. Life is not fair and sometimes someone's path is doomed to be more difficult than the others.
The story also reminds me of my dad, how he came from a poor family of 5 boys, uneducated parents who were not home to work and how he worked himself up to social ladder to become a professional and a middle class and now retired with enough money to spare. Coming from a poor family is not an excuse. Not taking care of oneself properly physically and not having a burning desire to make ends meet is.
k xoxo
Coffee Meets Bagel
Dearest ML,
As posted on your Facebook wall last night (since you are NY-to-be), this is what I found after reading a small column from a Hong Kong newspaper: Coffee meets Bagel
Without signing up (I am not eligible nor in need of such service!) and from the preliminary information I have from their website, here is my feedback:
1. I think the concept is cool because it turns out it is not that easy to meet potential partner in US (surprise!) but the key of success lies on "how CMB consultant can lie up a good match". If it is just random match, the coffee / bagel (which I still cannot distinguish who's who) may lost interests in this quickly and will likely disregard the whole thing. So I will say the first 3-5 matches are really important.
2. I still haven't figured out their business model and revenue income. I think it is fine to charge subscriber a minimal fee to sign up to enjoy the service say for 30 / 90 days if not I am not sure how they are going to sustain, considering there is no ad on their website, and considering how important it is to find a good match for the first few trials.
3. Assuming this charge model, and assuming it is a success within say 10 matches, obviously the benefit is on the spread of words among friends and possibly opt-out of the service. But to have a good match the prerequisite is again manpower to support this service
4. Sometimes I may see friends of friends that I may get interested to know about but no connection, maybe CMB can tap into this area too as purely customized match instead of "random" match (well I do not know how random that is anyway but I remember Glamour said it is "random").
5. I like the idea of having suggestions on where to date (which may turn into a paying service for bars / restaurants and stuff) but more manpower is needed for the business development.
Right on Arum, I look forward to see CMB flourish in other cities too :)
k xoxo
As posted on your Facebook wall last night (since you are NY-to-be), this is what I found after reading a small column from a Hong Kong newspaper: Coffee meets Bagel
Without signing up (I am not eligible nor in need of such service!) and from the preliminary information I have from their website, here is my feedback:
1. I think the concept is cool because it turns out it is not that easy to meet potential partner in US (surprise!) but the key of success lies on "how CMB consultant can lie up a good match". If it is just random match, the coffee / bagel (which I still cannot distinguish who's who) may lost interests in this quickly and will likely disregard the whole thing. So I will say the first 3-5 matches are really important.
2. I still haven't figured out their business model and revenue income. I think it is fine to charge subscriber a minimal fee to sign up to enjoy the service say for 30 / 90 days if not I am not sure how they are going to sustain, considering there is no ad on their website, and considering how important it is to find a good match for the first few trials.
3. Assuming this charge model, and assuming it is a success within say 10 matches, obviously the benefit is on the spread of words among friends and possibly opt-out of the service. But to have a good match the prerequisite is again manpower to support this service
4. Sometimes I may see friends of friends that I may get interested to know about but no connection, maybe CMB can tap into this area too as purely customized match instead of "random" match (well I do not know how random that is anyway but I remember Glamour said it is "random").
5. I like the idea of having suggestions on where to date (which may turn into a paying service for bars / restaurants and stuff) but more manpower is needed for the business development.
Right on Arum, I look forward to see CMB flourish in other cities too :)
k xoxo
Faint memories of our ex
Dearest ML,
We are have faint memories on our ex, regardless how much we would like to forget about him. Here is one, related to B when I received the email from Jo on tips to prepare for dragon boating:
We are have faint memories on our ex, regardless how much we would like to forget about him. Here is one, related to B when I received the email from Jo on tips to prepare for dragon boating:
Seagods, a few tips for the next 24 hours until Stanley warm up races:
- make sure you are fully hydrated - keep a bottle of water with you and sip throughout the day on Friday. A number of people have mentioned that they were thirsty at Deep Water Bay and next day (and they didn't think it was just a hangover!) A 1% drop in hydration can impact performance by up to 10% so we need to make sure we are fully hydrated as we go into race day and throughout the day. Bring plenty of water and (as they say in the army) you should be weeing "clear and often"
- rest and have an early night on Friday. Minimise alcohol in order to avoid dehydration (there will be plenty of beers on Saturday night!)
- eat balanced meals on Friday with carbohydrate and protein (lean white meat is best as red meat is hard to digest)
- get a good night's sleep on Friday
- eat a good breakfast ideally with carbohydrate and protein eg egg on toast, porridge and banana, beans on toast, fruit and yoghurt
- bring sports drinks, gels, bars, bananas to eat between races
- caffeine can also be useful between races (and in the afternoon) to give an extra kick
- caffeinated sports gels can be taken approx 15 mins before the race
Every little helps in races that are won and lost in sceonds.
See you bright and early on Saturday for another great day of racing!
See the point "avoid red meat"... it struck the chord when I remember we had a big meal of red meat (premium beef to be exact) before the Around the Hong Kong Island Race, THE outrigging race of the year as we thought this may give us a bit more strength. I personally felt horrible on the next day...
Honestly I do not want to think about this (or anything related to B) but it just came out of nowhere. If I feel sad or angry at myself for still thinking about this (or anything related to him), maybe it is a good time to turn around and see the whole incident as a joke, something we did go through together and nothing will change this fact.
Having said that it leads to the next point: embrace the faint memories we still have with our ex for this is what makes us who we are now. Have gratitude for him making who we are now. I may have too many yoga lessons these days but there is one thing called Karma. When we can accept our past without any hard feeling then we can let it go completely and focus on what lies in front of us.
k xoxo
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Quizás Quizás Quizás
Dearest ML,
Oh boy I must have been lazy... My last blog post was 3 weeks ago!!! Yes it seems to me this is indeed the first blog post written in LA again.
While the search for myself remains on, I have been reading different newspapers everyday. There is one column that I really like in Hong Kong, it is about the relationship of a financial journalist with her Mr Big: how two independent person coming along together gradually, her struggle if she should spend the night in his giant condo etc.... Very interesting.
As one reader pointed out in her comment, she wrote in a very Hong Kong style way. I have difficulty in describing what exactly is "Hong Kong style" way, in short it is Hong Kong style, something I miss after not in the city for a while.
This time she wrote about her university friend YY who studied abroad in the States, first time to learn how to take care of herself, first time to learn how to cook, go to the supermarket, to have a boyfriend and unfortunately broke up.
Devastated, she decided to go to Mexico alone.
In an unknown city unknown small bar full of strangers and Spanish, she heard this song "Quizas Quizas Quiza", a song that she heard 10,000 times when she broke up. Suddenly her secrets was revealed again unexpectedly.
"But when all the others are actually so normal and drinking coffee, chatting, I finally realized how naive I have been. I finally realized one thing: a song is just a song: it can be sad or neutral, or nothing. The same applies to a man," she wrote on a post card that the author still keeps it today.
Yes, a man is just a man! We all have our heart broken before, but a man is just a man. And today I read the Ask Amy column again, someone who had the history of "cut and run" would like to have her ex again. Amy just said "the best you can do is to let him go", and specified that "someone with a tendency to cut and run will have a tendency to do it again".
Then I thought about my ex(es), and your R, and realized one thing: a man is just a man. A man with a tendency to "cut and run" will likely to do it again. Whoever he / they are seeing now, good luck with them.
k xoxo
Oh boy I must have been lazy... My last blog post was 3 weeks ago!!! Yes it seems to me this is indeed the first blog post written in LA again.
While the search for myself remains on, I have been reading different newspapers everyday. There is one column that I really like in Hong Kong, it is about the relationship of a financial journalist with her Mr Big: how two independent person coming along together gradually, her struggle if she should spend the night in his giant condo etc.... Very interesting.
As one reader pointed out in her comment, she wrote in a very Hong Kong style way. I have difficulty in describing what exactly is "Hong Kong style" way, in short it is Hong Kong style, something I miss after not in the city for a while.
This time she wrote about her university friend YY who studied abroad in the States, first time to learn how to take care of herself, first time to learn how to cook, go to the supermarket, to have a boyfriend and unfortunately broke up.
Devastated, she decided to go to Mexico alone.
In an unknown city unknown small bar full of strangers and Spanish, she heard this song "Quizas Quizas Quiza", a song that she heard 10,000 times when she broke up. Suddenly her secrets was revealed again unexpectedly.
"But when all the others are actually so normal and drinking coffee, chatting, I finally realized how naive I have been. I finally realized one thing: a song is just a song: it can be sad or neutral, or nothing. The same applies to a man," she wrote on a post card that the author still keeps it today.
Yes, a man is just a man! We all have our heart broken before, but a man is just a man. And today I read the Ask Amy column again, someone who had the history of "cut and run" would like to have her ex again. Amy just said "the best you can do is to let him go", and specified that "someone with a tendency to cut and run will have a tendency to do it again".
Then I thought about my ex(es), and your R, and realized one thing: a man is just a man. A man with a tendency to "cut and run" will likely to do it again. Whoever he / they are seeing now, good luck with them.
k xoxo
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Hong Kong
Dearest ML,
During my last visit, I took some time to take pictures of Hong Kong. Have a look? I love the way Hong Kong is just so diverse with a mix of modern and the old
(most importantly I totally love my pentax k-r camera with all these built-in filters for special effects!)
k xoxo
During my last visit, I took some time to take pictures of Hong Kong. Have a look? I love the way Hong Kong is just so diverse with a mix of modern and the old
(most importantly I totally love my pentax k-r camera with all these built-in filters for special effects!)
k xoxo
One Love Story
Dearest ML,
Sometimes we just forgot how love / marriage should be, and that's why I posted this for you. It is about the love story of a young couple (24!) and they got married because he did not have long to live.
Click here.
Maybe you watched it already :)
k xoxo
Sometimes we just forgot how love / marriage should be, and that's why I posted this for you. It is about the love story of a young couple (24!) and they got married because he did not have long to live.
Click here.
Maybe you watched it already :)
k xoxo
Friday, April 20, 2012
Meaningful email from 2010
Dearest ML,
I was clearing my mailbox, and found this email back in 2010. Surprising it still applies as of 2012 :0)
Health:
I was clearing my mailbox, and found this email back in 2010. Surprising it still applies as of 2012 :0)
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18..
Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her
mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22.
Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are
simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra
class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Last but not the least:
40. Please forward this to everyone you care about, I just did. Last but not the least:
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Strategy, strategy, strategy
Dearest ML,
One of my theories in dating is "strategy". Here is one perfect example to illustrate, originates from an article I read on newspaper yesterday:
There is a theory in war. The real winning and losing is determined before the war itself. Those who took initiative is the losing side. There is no doubt about it.
Today she asked him out, he can tell it is not a good thing. Last week they started dating. On the evening of the second date, he kissed her.
No rejection, but not much reaction. She just closed her eyes and stood there quietly, feeling the heat from his lips. This was a kiss that would not last long.
But since the relationship had already begun, he did not mind carrying it forward. He thought things would unwind eventually. He felt a little bit of uneasy because of another man.
He was someone whom they met on the same day in the same work related occasion. He obviously was the "better" one.
He can tell him he was not competitive, and he could also tell that she was attracted to him from the very beginning.
Things may not have happened for two person who are mutually attracted to each other. As long as nobody takes the first move, nothing will happen.
He gave sufficient time to both of them, he took initiative only when he felt like nothing would happen between them.
Things were smooth than he thought, she accepted him despite the way of expressing his admiration and love was a bit clumsy.
He can feel that she was relaxed, obviously because it marked the end of the struggle with the other he. She must have said to that guy "great, there is no need to struggle anymore with you. You are nothing!"
Today she gave him a call, saying there was something serious for discussion after work. She sounded serious.
"I told him that we started our relationship"
"What is his reaction?"
"He asked me, how come that was not me?"
"I said I never knew you liked me"
"..."
"I am sorry, we have started seeing each other."
No astonishment but only the sad loneliness from the loser.
If we step outside the box, in fact that he lost the game too. She was the mastermind.
---------------------
Such a brilliant story!
k xoxo
One of my theories in dating is "strategy". Here is one perfect example to illustrate, originates from an article I read on newspaper yesterday:
There is a theory in war. The real winning and losing is determined before the war itself. Those who took initiative is the losing side. There is no doubt about it.
Today she asked him out, he can tell it is not a good thing. Last week they started dating. On the evening of the second date, he kissed her.
No rejection, but not much reaction. She just closed her eyes and stood there quietly, feeling the heat from his lips. This was a kiss that would not last long.
But since the relationship had already begun, he did not mind carrying it forward. He thought things would unwind eventually. He felt a little bit of uneasy because of another man.
He was someone whom they met on the same day in the same work related occasion. He obviously was the "better" one.
He can tell him he was not competitive, and he could also tell that she was attracted to him from the very beginning.
Things may not have happened for two person who are mutually attracted to each other. As long as nobody takes the first move, nothing will happen.
He gave sufficient time to both of them, he took initiative only when he felt like nothing would happen between them.
Things were smooth than he thought, she accepted him despite the way of expressing his admiration and love was a bit clumsy.
He can feel that she was relaxed, obviously because it marked the end of the struggle with the other he. She must have said to that guy "great, there is no need to struggle anymore with you. You are nothing!"
Today she gave him a call, saying there was something serious for discussion after work. She sounded serious.
"I told him that we started our relationship"
"What is his reaction?"
"He asked me, how come that was not me?"
"I said I never knew you liked me"
"..."
"I am sorry, we have started seeing each other."
No astonishment but only the sad loneliness from the loser.
If we step outside the box, in fact that he lost the game too. She was the mastermind.
---------------------
Such a brilliant story!
k xoxo
Sunday, April 1, 2012
After Breakup
Dearest ML,
Again another inspiration by Black so Black to share:
She once vowed to her wedding ring that she will only wear it once in her life. She will not take it off after it is put onto her finger. Even facing infidelity by her partner she will still honor the wedding vow, and never fall in love with another party.
Three years later, she felt in love with a friend who had been staying around with her for years and they formed their own family. When she vowed again, the hatred on her face disappeared.
She cried desperately asking for suicide. She cannot live without him. She was like this for 40 days after he left her. She felt like the sky has collapsed, that nobody could understand how she feels, and knowing that she cannot meet anyone who deserves her love and whom she fell in love so deeply.
Fast forward one year later, she met her current partner in volunteering. She saw there are so many things that need her help and grew mature. Love can come in again only when she opened her heart. He and she have been together, in peace. The power of love not only serves these two people, love helps in serving more people who are in need.
The love of his life betrayed him. He cannot trust any woman. Arrogance left him in hatred and negative emotions for a few years. Until one day he met someone who is simple and kind, and shines through his life like a fresh ray of light. He saw how he did not understand women, how he committed mistakes and hurt them in the past. Now he can experience love is to forgive the pain and sin in the past with a gentle loving smile. He felt enormously gracious, and learned how to love himself and others.
She loved him over a decade and never want to let go. She thought she cannot fall in love again, she is destined to be a victim and she cannot handle any hurt. At the same time, she finds herself very hard to fall in love with someone. After living in despair for 4 years, they met, fell in love and made them calm, mature and understanding. She cannot be happier.
These real stories of break up are meant to share with those who are afraid of break up. There is no inseparable relationship to begin with, except the intimate self-loving relationship. You have to give time to heal the wound, and there is no need to shut the door. You never know what sort of gift God has arranged to you after you open up yourself to experience growth.
There is no reason for you to miss this.
My thoughts:
We all have breakups. It is so rare that we will end up with only one lover in our life these days. Some relationships are longer, some are brief and short. Every relationship counts. We have to learn how to deal with break up, to learn from others and to learn how we may grow from it. It is the only way where we may minimize the pain.
We also have to learn to look forward. The best is yet to come.
k xoxo
Again another inspiration by Black so Black to share:
She once vowed to her wedding ring that she will only wear it once in her life. She will not take it off after it is put onto her finger. Even facing infidelity by her partner she will still honor the wedding vow, and never fall in love with another party.
Three years later, she felt in love with a friend who had been staying around with her for years and they formed their own family. When she vowed again, the hatred on her face disappeared.
She cried desperately asking for suicide. She cannot live without him. She was like this for 40 days after he left her. She felt like the sky has collapsed, that nobody could understand how she feels, and knowing that she cannot meet anyone who deserves her love and whom she fell in love so deeply.
Fast forward one year later, she met her current partner in volunteering. She saw there are so many things that need her help and grew mature. Love can come in again only when she opened her heart. He and she have been together, in peace. The power of love not only serves these two people, love helps in serving more people who are in need.
The love of his life betrayed him. He cannot trust any woman. Arrogance left him in hatred and negative emotions for a few years. Until one day he met someone who is simple and kind, and shines through his life like a fresh ray of light. He saw how he did not understand women, how he committed mistakes and hurt them in the past. Now he can experience love is to forgive the pain and sin in the past with a gentle loving smile. He felt enormously gracious, and learned how to love himself and others.
She loved him over a decade and never want to let go. She thought she cannot fall in love again, she is destined to be a victim and she cannot handle any hurt. At the same time, she finds herself very hard to fall in love with someone. After living in despair for 4 years, they met, fell in love and made them calm, mature and understanding. She cannot be happier.
These real stories of break up are meant to share with those who are afraid of break up. There is no inseparable relationship to begin with, except the intimate self-loving relationship. You have to give time to heal the wound, and there is no need to shut the door. You never know what sort of gift God has arranged to you after you open up yourself to experience growth.
There is no reason for you to miss this.
My thoughts:
We all have breakups. It is so rare that we will end up with only one lover in our life these days. Some relationships are longer, some are brief and short. Every relationship counts. We have to learn how to deal with break up, to learn from others and to learn how we may grow from it. It is the only way where we may minimize the pain.
We also have to learn to look forward. The best is yet to come.
k xoxo
Break up Properly
Dearest ML,
This is the topic wrote by my favorite columnist, Black so Black. I tried to digest what she wrote to below -
It turns out a lot of couples break up by disappearing suddenly. There is no symptom, nor there is room for you to prepare for it. In the end it becomes so difficult for you to get adjusted for this sudden change in the status and creates a wound that is so deep that it takes a long time to heal.
Suddenly stop picking up calls, suddenly stop replying text message, suddenly move the stuff away, suddenly return the gifts, suddenly leave message like "do not contact me anymore" but without explanation and elaboration. They thought they leave like a wind and create no-fuss. But in reality they are creating a mess that is more messy than the messed up relationship and let the burden to the others while he or she can simply run away.
This is such a rude and irresponsible way of breaking up. Not only let the other party wandering in dismay, with the urge of wanting to know the truth even in the next life. This type of breakup also creates "fatal relationship" - a relationship that leaves the other party traumatized. It can also bring up the deep buried childhood fear: say the fear of being abandoned by parents, the fear of being left on the street while not sure the way of getting back home, the fear that the parents will no longer love us after their separation etc.
The type of breakup reinforces that these childhood fears to be real and true and makes people feel so helplessness. If not handled properly it may develop into unfortunate emotional sickness. I handled a lot of cases when clients thought it is so difficult to love again and to trust someone again. Some clients even thought of or attempted suicide.
To specify they are not particularly vulnerable people. A number of them told me that as long as the breakup was handled properly, give them room to deal with the vacancy period, they can actually take their time to accept the news and adapt.
A very sad aftermath of a bad breakup.
As a matter of fact, this situation can definitely be avoided. As long as when you break up you deal with it properly and face the aftermath, be it by a statement, elaboration, explain your point of views, give blessing to the other party before you leave. Prepare the other party that the relationship has come to a full stop, properly say thank you and good bye.
There is no inseparable relationship to begin with. You both can then move on without any burden.
A mature person will tell before leaving. They will clear up rubbish and avoid creating additional rubbish. You have to understand that by simply disappearing, what is left behind can create mistakes that can be irreversible.
Breakup properly. Disappearing suddenly only show how coward you are.
Needless to say, the passage did remind me of someone, someone whom I feel indifferent now. Time heals, but most importantly with more thinking and passages like this help me understand his mentality. It makes me realize how A-hole he actually is.
He simply does not deserve any of my time and energy.
k xoxo
This is the topic wrote by my favorite columnist, Black so Black. I tried to digest what she wrote to below -
It turns out a lot of couples break up by disappearing suddenly. There is no symptom, nor there is room for you to prepare for it. In the end it becomes so difficult for you to get adjusted for this sudden change in the status and creates a wound that is so deep that it takes a long time to heal.
Suddenly stop picking up calls, suddenly stop replying text message, suddenly move the stuff away, suddenly return the gifts, suddenly leave message like "do not contact me anymore" but without explanation and elaboration. They thought they leave like a wind and create no-fuss. But in reality they are creating a mess that is more messy than the messed up relationship and let the burden to the others while he or she can simply run away.
This is such a rude and irresponsible way of breaking up. Not only let the other party wandering in dismay, with the urge of wanting to know the truth even in the next life. This type of breakup also creates "fatal relationship" - a relationship that leaves the other party traumatized. It can also bring up the deep buried childhood fear: say the fear of being abandoned by parents, the fear of being left on the street while not sure the way of getting back home, the fear that the parents will no longer love us after their separation etc.
The type of breakup reinforces that these childhood fears to be real and true and makes people feel so helplessness. If not handled properly it may develop into unfortunate emotional sickness. I handled a lot of cases when clients thought it is so difficult to love again and to trust someone again. Some clients even thought of or attempted suicide.
To specify they are not particularly vulnerable people. A number of them told me that as long as the breakup was handled properly, give them room to deal with the vacancy period, they can actually take their time to accept the news and adapt.
A very sad aftermath of a bad breakup.
As a matter of fact, this situation can definitely be avoided. As long as when you break up you deal with it properly and face the aftermath, be it by a statement, elaboration, explain your point of views, give blessing to the other party before you leave. Prepare the other party that the relationship has come to a full stop, properly say thank you and good bye.
There is no inseparable relationship to begin with. You both can then move on without any burden.
A mature person will tell before leaving. They will clear up rubbish and avoid creating additional rubbish. You have to understand that by simply disappearing, what is left behind can create mistakes that can be irreversible.
Breakup properly. Disappearing suddenly only show how coward you are.
Needless to say, the passage did remind me of someone, someone whom I feel indifferent now. Time heals, but most importantly with more thinking and passages like this help me understand his mentality. It makes me realize how A-hole he actually is.
He simply does not deserve any of my time and energy.
k xoxo
Mistake
Dearest ML,
Following the "courtesy, manner and respect" post, the saga continues.
I wrote to you that the friend did get back to me but not anymore. I whatsapp and asked questions, just casual ones like "what are your plans for weekend" then no feedback. It seems he disappeared in the thin air. I do not know what is happening.
Specifically I feel like I am stupid. Committing the same mistake twice? How foolish I am, to expect someone to change. I feel like I am more angry about myself than him.
This brings up one point: never commit the same mistake twice.
My 2nd point being: time will really tell who that person is. It is not his sweet words but how he treats you that counts more. Be smart and do not be fooled!
k xoxo
Following the "courtesy, manner and respect" post, the saga continues.
I wrote to you that the friend did get back to me but not anymore. I whatsapp and asked questions, just casual ones like "what are your plans for weekend" then no feedback. It seems he disappeared in the thin air. I do not know what is happening.
Specifically I feel like I am stupid. Committing the same mistake twice? How foolish I am, to expect someone to change. I feel like I am more angry about myself than him.
This brings up one point: never commit the same mistake twice.
My 2nd point being: time will really tell who that person is. It is not his sweet words but how he treats you that counts more. Be smart and do not be fooled!
k xoxo
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