Dearest E,
I am so happy you shared your story with me and sorry again to hear what happened in the restaurant where the girlfriend of your ex scolded you out of nowhere in the public.
To begin with, there are only two types of breakup in the world - peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. Peaceful breakup to me is kind of rare as it involves the mutual understanding of two parties and reach the consensus of breakup. However, peaceful breakup also does not mean the relationship can be transformed to "friendship", as again it requires the mutual effort & maturity from both parties.
We girls do tend to have a tendency to expect ex to become friends again whereas boys tend not to have this tendency. My favourite quote is "let things evolve" / "time will tell" but most importantly the core message is "not to have any expectation".
Why? When you do not have expectation, you will be less likely to feel disappointed.
When you do not have expectation, you will not be the one to take the first move and be rejected if he is not responding.
When you do not have expectations, your focus will be put on yourself instead of the counter party.
Personally I had peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. To be specific I used to be the one to dump the other party first until one day the trend got reversed. Of course it hurt, I felt devastated but I survived.
Breakup is an inevitable part in dating (unless you are the rare lucky ones who got married with your puppy lover). So in the end, we all need to learn how to deal with breakup in a smarter way.
As with the act of that girl, my only comment is do not learn from her. We all have "class", and that girl has no class. There is no need to talk to her again, and sorry to say she is not even your friend.
Feel better soon
k xoxo
Dearest K,
ReplyDeleteFeel so glad and relieved after reading this.
I learn a lot from you, not just this time, but also last time when we were in Grappas. Thanks so much my dear consultant.
I was amazed that you actually keep a quite good relationship with D, in which I could never do the same :)
time passes and I feel that there is no such "peaceful break-ups" on earth, like what you said, we always have expectation on the other half when we were tgt, and breaking-up can thus never be peaceful, but time heals, leaving only peaceful memory.
Am learning not to cling on sth that has already happened,,,,to be honest, I felt quite sad about that girl, like when your frd used your past which you shared with her to attack your personality. Anyway, people get crazy when they indulged in sth too much...
I believe your past shapes the "YOU" now, who is self-confident, intelligent and amazing!
Xoxo
your admirer,
E
E, thanks for your positive comments! It is all about balance and most importantly always remember "yourself comes first before anything or anyone".
ReplyDeleteRead the next blog post.
k xoxo