Relationship with A Future

Dearest ML,

Thanks for sharing with me the updates with R and your ex. I wrote in another email reply to my friend S on how I see relationship now - I prefer to have a relationship with a future.

Your romance with R is full of passion but for whatever reasons it ended up short. I sort of joked about my romance history that I can write a book about it hehe. Nothing to brag about but I had those days with a relationship like that, so much indulgence, full of passion etc but no future. Maybe it was me not ready to settle down. But the norm of dating expats in Hong Kong is... they seldom talk about future. They never see Hong Kong as their home / place to stay for long term. How can you expect someone like that, in a "transitional phase" to make any commitment?

I realize we all have different chapters in life, with different focuses. And guys, are more like ornaments. It is good to have them, but it is OK not to have them because they are "ornaments" but not necessity. What is more important is our believes, our values, and how we see ourselves.

You asked me how I settle in US life. I can say I enjoy it a lot. Last night I had a brief discussion with M, I think he has made me a happier person. He is more like a cheerleader to me, to support me emotionally, and give me room to fulfill my dreams. And our relationship is a relationship with future - I "sort of" know where we are heading to and nothing like what I had in the past where the guy may just dump you in one second and said "I prefer to be alone" (on hindsight such a BS and this is part of the reason why I still feel resentment for him).

Another reason I guess is living in the States where I have less things to worry about compared to Hong Kong, and not to mention a "better" environment with less pollution and people!

But of course the "location" is not exactly the main point - the key is the place where you can find happiness, where you can find meaning in whatever you are doing.

So in my next chapter of life, I guess this relationship is going to play a bit of part. Even though I see guys are ornaments, it is still good to have one when you find a good one :)

 
k  xoxo