On Forgiveness

Dearest ML,

Thanks for another meaningful blog post on forgiveness.

There is a line you wrote - "you are also forgiving yourself for allowing yourself to be vulnerable or making an error in judgment."

Interestingly, M also always talks to me about being vulnerable in a relationship.

To be honest, I am actually pretty "zen" in quite a lot of areas. I always believe things happen for a reason, literally everything. So even for B, how I see is "if it is not because of his breakup, I would not have started any relationship with M".

However even so, it does not justify what he did to me. Having said that, even if he did apologize, it does not change anything on what happened.

So does "forgiveness" help? I do not mean to be harsh on myself, or him - I wrote once I don't hate people, it wastes time and energy and counter-productive. If there is something I cannot get over with, then I still cannot get it over. Does it mean I still spend a lot of time on past issues? No.

Life is short, time is precious. Assuming I cannot forgive, it may be better to "forget" instead.

It does not mean I hate him or myself or anyone. I think nobody can make a wise decision in the area of love. It is always gonna be a bet, a gambling, and trial and error. Love is blind, and it is true. And will there be any A hole who will admit himself to be an A hole to you at the time of dating? I'm afraid not.

We can only know on hindsight.

So you are right, lesson learned. Anything can happen in relationship. Enjoy the happy times whenever possible, as these are the good memories to make you go through the difficult times. Once if you ever get hurt, do what a smart girl does - lesson learned, and move on with our lives, as we both clearly understand hurt is sometimes inevitable.

This makes us for who we are, and we accept this as part of our life journey. 


k   xoxo