Dearest ML,
In your latest email you wrote about friends and your desire of keeping closer in touch with friends.
I am very bad in keeping in touch with friends. I can chat, make new friends easily but not at all good in keeping contacts with close, real friends. What I realize is -
Real friends are those who do not need to be in close contacts all the times.
Real friends are those who may not be close with you physically but close with you in heart.
Real friends are those who can talk and talk and share what is happening in life after months of no contact.
Real friends are those who will be there for you when you are down, need someone to talk to, when you need help.
Real friends can be those who are not even on your Facebook.
Most importantly, it takes two to make real friends.
So do real friends need "maintenance"? Yes and no. You have to realize one fact - friends, are like guys and buses, they come and go. Time will tell who is the real friend. There is no need to push it too hard. And there is also no need to feel sad when you lose some of the "friends".
PS - by coincidence I was watching The Good Wife with M just now. There was a quote between Alicia and her brother like below.
Background: they were really close, and Alicia called her brother late night to have drinks in a bar and complained she doesn't have friends anymore.
Alicia: God, where are all my friends?
Brother: on your facebook
k xoxo
thank you so much, this really helped me beyond words.
ReplyDeletei felt like maybe i was a bad friend, a bad person... maybe in the eyes of some people i didn't do 'enough' to keep in touch... but i find comfort in your words and know for certain that those who were 'meant to stay, will stay.'
ML, thanks for your kind compliments :-) I am happy my post shed new lights to you.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote one line "I felt like I was a bad person maybe in the eyes of some people". The thing is you can never do enough in the eyes of some people, and they can include your friends, your senior, your boss, or even your parents.
The key is how to strike a balance, and have your own set of principles instead of concerning how others are seeing you.
xoxo