Ex

Dearest ML,

Ex always gives us headaches. I briefly estimated there are a few types of ex -

1. Ex who chooses to walk away completely from your life

These are the type who prefers a complete break off after the end of the relationship. No more contact. You may have mutual friends he may still be on your Facebook but nothing more.

You guys have your own life. It is tough especially when you still have feelings for him. You may still peek into his Facebook (or his girlfriend's Facebook to get to know him) but gradually you will figure "if he doesn't not treat me as a friend with care and concern, why bother and waste my time?"

This is exactly how I feel about the unnamed player, especially after the recent accident. He will always be the same. He doesn't really care about others. The good side is you guys break up before investing (or wasting) too much time and energy into the relationship that is doomed to have no future. 

2. Ex who can evolve to be best friends

This type of ex is rare, it requires both parties to evolve and move on. There is always a fine line between "couples" and "best friends' and you guys know how to play this rule of game well.

3. Ex who doesn't know what he wants and keep coming back to you

This type is also common - it means you guys break up, then reconcile, and then break up again. Why? One major reason is neither party has really worked out the real issues that caused the break up. Relationships like this will never be a smooth one but likely end up in a vicious cycle.

I know how it feels to be treated badly by ex, especially when you have the "expectation" that he may get back to you on your text / email message, or have the "expectation" that he will contact you first, or have the expectation of staying friends. Some time ago, I remember I wrote a blog post on "friendship". It takes two to make things work.

So, how to deal with ex?? I really do not know, I am still evolving. It really depends on the other party. You express your friendliness it went into the water under the bridge. Lesson learned.

Remember:

It takes two to clap hands. It also takes two to maintain friendship. There are a lot of friends who care and concern about you. There is no need to expect everyone to be your friend - you are not in any competition or running for Ms Friendly in Ms Universe competition.

Be picky, be choosey.

And sometimes if you really care about someone (and if by doing so really makes you feel better), go for it. You do not really have to let them know.   

You are a really sweet and smart girl with a lot of self-reflection but sometimes it may be better to forget and let go. Be kind to yourself, and love yourself more.


k  xoxo