Dearest ML
By pure coincidence I met a new friend recently. Actually he met my parents first in a tour and my mom thought he should be introduced to my best friend (who is a very decent girl but has been single for a long time) and asked me for 'help'.
I always wanna "help" my friend. I have no idea why she has difficulty in meeting guys as she is a very decent person with nice personality and look. So I gladly accepted this assignment.
But before anything I feel like I should meet up with this guy first at least to understand a bit more about him.
So we had a coffee and some chats on phone. It turned out he is also very decent and "normal" with a decent but busy job (who doesn't in Hong Kong?). We clicked instantly as friends. It is kinda weird as in front of him I do feel like I am like a "big sister" and kind of bossy with a lot of opinions but in reality... I may be but I am never like this in front of M. I am still figuring out why LOL
Anyway the key is not exactly about me and him but more about him and my friend. So I arranged a dinner meet up last night.
I feel like a healthy relationship should better begin with friendship (unless you are meeting someone in club). So it turned out last night was successful. It seemed we all had a great time. My friend did not know anything about the whole purpose of the meeting as I do not want to scare her off. However my mom has been asking me if I have arranged them to meet up all the times and made me annoyed LOL
So what I observe is from my friend I think I can figure out why guys may not think her as "attractive". There should be just something a little bit more apart from "being decent and presentable and normal". I think the key is one should always bear in mind the art of dating. Simply put there are a few rules from my own experience:
Rule 1 - always keep guy radar on. Very important.
Rule 2 - always keep yourself presentable and attractive and in good shape as you never know who you will bump into (my friend was not wearing any make up at all!)
Rule 3 - always keep yourself informed on what is happening in the world and make yourself to be sociable and knowledgeable. There is a term I invented recently - never be a social retard.
Rule 4 - know yourself and amplify your strengths in interaction. I believe everyone is different. Some may be playful, some may be humorous, some may be more caring, some may be more organized etc... It really does not matter. The key is how to present yourself in front of other people, especially in front of a potential date. You have to know what your selling point(s) are and then amplify them so as to make yourself attractive to others. Whether he likes it or not it really does not matter but I do believe the important point is having a distinctive character that makes you stand out from others.
Rule 5 - know how to be a woman but not a girl. We are getting older and presumably we should get more matured. No guys would like to date a girl. So think how to become more matured. Social skills is one key aspect. Be knowledgeable is another key.
Rule 6 - most importantly have a bit of sexuality. It is quite hard to define this but in short know how to flirt and be playful at the right time, and give out the right subtle signals if you like someone. Girls should always be a bit more proactive in asking guys out. No harm in that. Make use of the mutual friend to arrange some more activities. If he is smart, he should be able to pick it up. Likewise guys should learn to be a bit more proactive in asking girls out. Well a lot do but a lot seem to need a "consultant" to suggest how to proceed.
Rule 7 - enjoy the meeting. Even if he is a dork it is just a meeting of 1-2 hours. Just enjoy the process.
Happy dating :-)
k xoxo
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