Dearest ML,
I saw your FB. Hope you had great fun with your Boston roadtrip :-)
During the Labor Day weekend, M and I watched two films: The Dark Knight Rises and a Danish Film In a Better World. I love film watching: films immerse me into a completely different world away from reality and can provoke thoughts sometimes.
While watching the Batman, at some point, I cannot help and think about the Aurora shooting incident. When exactly did it happen? What would I do if I were in the incident? Will I survive? What a horrifying experience it is to turn an exciting film watching experience (and Batman! I read somewhere the premiere in New York was sold out 6 months in advance) and ended up like this.
I like Batman trilogy. I think the director has successfully added many layers to the Batman character. Remember the old days of Michael Keaton and even George Clooney? Or even in far ancient days when there was the hysterical TV show with Batman and Robin and "BANG BANG" occupying the whole TV screen? The current trilogy is very different from the previous work. It is undoubtedly still a very Hollywood Blockbuster, but very well made. Normally I am not a big fan of this sort of film but I have to admit, the film watching experience was entertaining.
Honestly I wish there were a little bit more on Catwoman. Anne Hathaway has done a very good job in playing the role.
The other Danish film In a Better World is completely different. It is the winner of 2010 Oscar Best Foreign Film, and very real (whereas Batman is extremely surreal). The film covered a lot of topics: cancer, death, different forms of bullying, marriage, family dynamics, to name just a few. On hindsight I wish it could have focused more on a few topics only with more in-depth coverage. But good films are hard to find. This is definitely above average.
All in all, I am happy to have M to share these film watching experience together. I remember I had an ex, every time when I proposed a film to watch by then (and even now) I would need to exercise my careful consideration. M is the complete opposite as we are both film lovers and surprisingly share pretty common taste and preference on foreign language films (well he loves sci-fi horrors like 28 Days Later but I am not). But we have to admit, the "date" for film watching is also very important!
k xoxo
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Blogger
Dearest ML,
It's been a while. By pure coincidence (well everything to me is "by pure coincidence" anyway), I came across this blog People Do Things With Their Lives and how the viewers are raving about it. I was amused. Absolutely amused & astonished. Maybe my bar is higher I do not feel like that.
I do agree with one of her points she wrote "there is no news" but yet it does not make her blog great. Then I cannot help and wonder if somebody regarded her blog as "great" and "good read enough to follow after checking other bloggers", then what about my blog? My thoughts? Are they just too quirky or others will find it entertaining / meaningful to read?
We write to inspire (inspired by E L James "we aim to please", said Ana to Christian or vice versa). So guess what? I will continue to write my random thoughts.
FYI the bloggers I consider awesome is Tom Basson (despite I do not like his religious stuff but scroll down to "what makes you come alive". I believe everyone should keep their own list), and Seth Godin
These are really cool blogs.
k xoxo
It's been a while. By pure coincidence (well everything to me is "by pure coincidence" anyway), I came across this blog People Do Things With Their Lives and how the viewers are raving about it. I was amused. Absolutely amused & astonished. Maybe my bar is higher I do not feel like that.
I do agree with one of her points she wrote "there is no news" but yet it does not make her blog great. Then I cannot help and wonder if somebody regarded her blog as "great" and "good read enough to follow after checking other bloggers", then what about my blog? My thoughts? Are they just too quirky or others will find it entertaining / meaningful to read?
We write to inspire (inspired by E L James "we aim to please", said Ana to Christian or vice versa). So guess what? I will continue to write my random thoughts.
FYI the bloggers I consider awesome is Tom Basson (despite I do not like his religious stuff but scroll down to "what makes you come alive". I believe everyone should keep their own list), and Seth Godin
These are really cool blogs.
k xoxo
Monday, August 6, 2012
Hard Time Generation from 60 minutes
Dearest ML,
I have decided to write one more post before signing off. Last night I watched the 60 minutes. The segment on "Hard Time Generation" is just so touching.
It is hard to imagine some kids are having such a difficult times, yet they never give up.
It is hard to imagine why it is so difficult to find a job in the States.
It is hard to imagine what if there is only one orange left in the cooler but nothing more, and yet you call the shelter house and they are all full.
I have been extremely lucky. I think my friends are also lucky too. One is currently traveling around the world with her fiance. We are really blessed. Story like this always remind myself to be humble and not to forget those who are currently misfortunate and experiencing a rough time.
Strive for the best, and offer what we may do in return to help others.
k xoxo
I have decided to write one more post before signing off. Last night I watched the 60 minutes. The segment on "Hard Time Generation" is just so touching.
It is hard to imagine some kids are having such a difficult times, yet they never give up.
It is hard to imagine why it is so difficult to find a job in the States.
It is hard to imagine what if there is only one orange left in the cooler but nothing more, and yet you call the shelter house and they are all full.
I have been extremely lucky. I think my friends are also lucky too. One is currently traveling around the world with her fiance. We are really blessed. Story like this always remind myself to be humble and not to forget those who are currently misfortunate and experiencing a rough time.
Strive for the best, and offer what we may do in return to help others.
k xoxo
Back to School Again
Dearest ML,
I saw your Facebook. You are such a vibrant soul :) I remember when I was at your age I was like that too - endless parties, activities to keep my schedule completely full (hey I was living in Hong Kong!) but now I feel different. How to put it, I know I am getting old when M and I were driving pass Hollywood last Saturday night around 11 pm, seeing all these party crowds with bumper to bumper traffic. My only thought was "I wanna go back home and rest".
And yes I have decided to go back school again after... er... 6 years (OMG). This time it is via Coursera, a fantastic free online platform where literally you can sign up anything you like for free. So far it is still free I do not know about its future. It is a great resource to go back to school again to sharpen my mind, to interact with different think-alike individuals, and most importantly to sign up anything I feel interested in without feeling obliged on doing anything. So this time I signed up Gamification, Introduction to Operation Management and Sociology etc 5 courses in total.
Yeah I am getting really excited. And yes it is feel like back to school again, I need my brand new stationery - notebook and pens :P
Everytime I do a course I feel like it is not only the (online) lecture, but it is also about the reading. So yes here I come, I am prepared. I feel alive again.
k xoxo
I saw your Facebook. You are such a vibrant soul :) I remember when I was at your age I was like that too - endless parties, activities to keep my schedule completely full (hey I was living in Hong Kong!) but now I feel different. How to put it, I know I am getting old when M and I were driving pass Hollywood last Saturday night around 11 pm, seeing all these party crowds with bumper to bumper traffic. My only thought was "I wanna go back home and rest".
And yes I have decided to go back school again after... er... 6 years (OMG). This time it is via Coursera, a fantastic free online platform where literally you can sign up anything you like for free. So far it is still free I do not know about its future. It is a great resource to go back to school again to sharpen my mind, to interact with different think-alike individuals, and most importantly to sign up anything I feel interested in without feeling obliged on doing anything. So this time I signed up Gamification, Introduction to Operation Management and Sociology etc 5 courses in total.
Yeah I am getting really excited. And yes it is feel like back to school again, I need my brand new stationery - notebook and pens :P
Everytime I do a course I feel like it is not only the (online) lecture, but it is also about the reading. So yes here I come, I am prepared. I feel alive again.
k xoxo
Friday, July 20, 2012
The Story of Mr Frog
Dearest E,
This is what I read from one of my favorite columnist "Ask Amy" from "Rejected in Chicago" today:
"Dear Amy: I am a 26 year old woman who has kissed many frogs, and by "many" I mean that every single guy I have been with is a frog.
I've been seeing a guy who I thought was the answer to my prayers. He said all the right things.
We became intimate on our third date, now I have heard nothing from him.
He texted me after he got home from our third date, but nothing after that/ I have tried contacting him twice (via text) since then, to no avail. It's been a few days since that third date. and I am asking your advice as to how I should move forward.
Should I keep trying to contact him, or just to move on?
Rejected in Chicago"
Why I am posting this? Because I saw myself in this story. I won't call the guys I was seeing as "frogs" (nor I do not understand why she did it) but what she encountered is definitely not something new, and I am sure it will happen to other girls too.
Let's hear what Amy said:
"Dear Rejected:
By "being intimate" I assume that you and Mr Frog had sex.
Being sexual with someone is not the route to intimacy that you seem to think it is. However it is the path most often taken by frogs.
If you had extended your conversation with this guy on that fateful third date, instead of having sex with him, you would have learned more about him and become more intimate. And you wouldn't be so reactive, needy and confused now.
If you are satisfied with occasional hookup, then keep doing what you're doing. But you are unhappy with your choices.
Rather than brand every man you date a frog, the most logical remedy is for you to change everything about your own behavior in this area of your life.
When you do that, you will draw a different kind of person toward you."
For me, Amy is kinda vague about her answer. But certainly some points are definitely true:
1. Some frogs tend to use sex to build intimacy, which leads girls to think or believe like that too.
2. However most of the times, we girls would like to have something more than sex. And that's the challenging part - striking a good balance of intimacy and when exactly to have sex.
3. I agree with Amy, it actually depends on what YOU want.
4. If a frog is focused on sex only, he will move on to another target if there is no sex happening.
5. If he sees building up intimacy more than sex, and sees you as a good candidate to build it up, he will invest time into this.
Nobody can tell exactly when to have sex or the intimacy level. It all depends on how you feel about yourself, how well you know about him, the communication between you two, what you would like to have from the relationship etc.
As for me, at age 26?? It is typical to go through what "rejected" is going through. It is the age of evolving. Nobody is born to be smart. It is all learn by experience.
Rejection hurts, nobody likes that. But like I said many times before, it is an inevitable part of dating / relationship.
Believe me, a lot of frogs at age 26 (or around that age) do tend to think sex comes first than anything else (or replace "work" with the word "sex"). Some guys evolve, and some do not. It is important to keep adjusting your own expectation too.
And what Amy said is so true - it also depends on where you are looking for frogs. Say for example assume you meet someone in clubbing / social parties, how would you expect him to build up intimacy via talking / texting?
Which is why always remember: whatever happens, yourself comes first. Love yourself more. When you have that belief built up, you will begin to have self-confidence in yourself, and tend to get less hurt by what happens.
k xoxo
This is what I read from one of my favorite columnist "Ask Amy" from "Rejected in Chicago" today:
"Dear Amy: I am a 26 year old woman who has kissed many frogs, and by "many" I mean that every single guy I have been with is a frog.
I've been seeing a guy who I thought was the answer to my prayers. He said all the right things.
We became intimate on our third date, now I have heard nothing from him.
He texted me after he got home from our third date, but nothing after that/ I have tried contacting him twice (via text) since then, to no avail. It's been a few days since that third date. and I am asking your advice as to how I should move forward.
Should I keep trying to contact him, or just to move on?
Rejected in Chicago"
Why I am posting this? Because I saw myself in this story. I won't call the guys I was seeing as "frogs" (nor I do not understand why she did it) but what she encountered is definitely not something new, and I am sure it will happen to other girls too.
Let's hear what Amy said:
"Dear Rejected:
By "being intimate" I assume that you and Mr Frog had sex.
Being sexual with someone is not the route to intimacy that you seem to think it is. However it is the path most often taken by frogs.
If you had extended your conversation with this guy on that fateful third date, instead of having sex with him, you would have learned more about him and become more intimate. And you wouldn't be so reactive, needy and confused now.
If you are satisfied with occasional hookup, then keep doing what you're doing. But you are unhappy with your choices.
Rather than brand every man you date a frog, the most logical remedy is for you to change everything about your own behavior in this area of your life.
When you do that, you will draw a different kind of person toward you."
For me, Amy is kinda vague about her answer. But certainly some points are definitely true:
1. Some frogs tend to use sex to build intimacy, which leads girls to think or believe like that too.
2. However most of the times, we girls would like to have something more than sex. And that's the challenging part - striking a good balance of intimacy and when exactly to have sex.
3. I agree with Amy, it actually depends on what YOU want.
4. If a frog is focused on sex only, he will move on to another target if there is no sex happening.
5. If he sees building up intimacy more than sex, and sees you as a good candidate to build it up, he will invest time into this.
Nobody can tell exactly when to have sex or the intimacy level. It all depends on how you feel about yourself, how well you know about him, the communication between you two, what you would like to have from the relationship etc.
As for me, at age 26?? It is typical to go through what "rejected" is going through. It is the age of evolving. Nobody is born to be smart. It is all learn by experience.
Rejection hurts, nobody likes that. But like I said many times before, it is an inevitable part of dating / relationship.
Believe me, a lot of frogs at age 26 (or around that age) do tend to think sex comes first than anything else (or replace "work" with the word "sex"). Some guys evolve, and some do not. It is important to keep adjusting your own expectation too.
And what Amy said is so true - it also depends on where you are looking for frogs. Say for example assume you meet someone in clubbing / social parties, how would you expect him to build up intimacy via talking / texting?
Which is why always remember: whatever happens, yourself comes first. Love yourself more. When you have that belief built up, you will begin to have self-confidence in yourself, and tend to get less hurt by what happens.
k xoxo
Monday, July 2, 2012
Not a peaceful breakup
Dearest E,
I am so happy you shared your story with me and sorry again to hear what happened in the restaurant where the girlfriend of your ex scolded you out of nowhere in the public.
To begin with, there are only two types of breakup in the world - peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. Peaceful breakup to me is kind of rare as it involves the mutual understanding of two parties and reach the consensus of breakup. However, peaceful breakup also does not mean the relationship can be transformed to "friendship", as again it requires the mutual effort & maturity from both parties.
We girls do tend to have a tendency to expect ex to become friends again whereas boys tend not to have this tendency. My favourite quote is "let things evolve" / "time will tell" but most importantly the core message is "not to have any expectation".
Why? When you do not have expectation, you will be less likely to feel disappointed.
When you do not have expectation, you will not be the one to take the first move and be rejected if he is not responding.
When you do not have expectations, your focus will be put on yourself instead of the counter party.
Personally I had peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. To be specific I used to be the one to dump the other party first until one day the trend got reversed. Of course it hurt, I felt devastated but I survived.
Breakup is an inevitable part in dating (unless you are the rare lucky ones who got married with your puppy lover). So in the end, we all need to learn how to deal with breakup in a smarter way.
As with the act of that girl, my only comment is do not learn from her. We all have "class", and that girl has no class. There is no need to talk to her again, and sorry to say she is not even your friend.
Feel better soon
k xoxo
I am so happy you shared your story with me and sorry again to hear what happened in the restaurant where the girlfriend of your ex scolded you out of nowhere in the public.
To begin with, there are only two types of breakup in the world - peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. Peaceful breakup to me is kind of rare as it involves the mutual understanding of two parties and reach the consensus of breakup. However, peaceful breakup also does not mean the relationship can be transformed to "friendship", as again it requires the mutual effort & maturity from both parties.
We girls do tend to have a tendency to expect ex to become friends again whereas boys tend not to have this tendency. My favourite quote is "let things evolve" / "time will tell" but most importantly the core message is "not to have any expectation".
Why? When you do not have expectation, you will be less likely to feel disappointed.
When you do not have expectation, you will not be the one to take the first move and be rejected if he is not responding.
When you do not have expectations, your focus will be put on yourself instead of the counter party.
Personally I had peaceful breakup and not-peaceful breakup. To be specific I used to be the one to dump the other party first until one day the trend got reversed. Of course it hurt, I felt devastated but I survived.
Breakup is an inevitable part in dating (unless you are the rare lucky ones who got married with your puppy lover). So in the end, we all need to learn how to deal with breakup in a smarter way.
As with the act of that girl, my only comment is do not learn from her. We all have "class", and that girl has no class. There is no need to talk to her again, and sorry to say she is not even your friend.
Feel better soon
k xoxo
Saturday, June 23, 2012
New York City
I miss you, New York City.
One of my favorite shots taken on the Brooklyn Bridge and Manhattan skyline
One of my favorite shots taken on the Brooklyn Bridge and Manhattan skyline
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